What a weekend!

Back to life...back to reality. This past weekend I took a much needed break and went out to Santa Barbara to visit some good friends. You know I typically don't use real names on her, but since this story doesn't involve my dating life, I will. I met Rob and Lara shortly after I moved to Sacramento. They quickly became what I would call 'best friends'. We have a lot in common and always seem to have a good time together. They both grew up in Santa Barbara and moved back there about the same time I moved back to KC. I hadn't seem them since and was overdue for a visit! Since moving to SB, they have had 2 children...who I must say are about the most adorable and fun kids to be around! And it was amazing to see both of them as parents....they pretty much have it down to a science! At times I wished I would have taken my little monkey as their youngest is only 6 weeks younger than her. But then again, it was really, really nice to have a weekend free of Mommy duties.

I also got to hang out with one of their good friends, Lowell. We had hung out a few times in the past when he'd come up to Sac to visit or when I went down to SB. I hadn't seem him in years and we had a great time catching up. He certainly knows how to keep life interesting!

Being that I was childless, I really thought it was going to be a great opportunity to sleep in for the first time in a year. Not so much. Apparently my body has adjusted quite nicely to getting up at the crack of dawn. And with the time change, that meant I was up at 5am everyday. WTH? I forced myself to sleep in (until 7:30a) and got the chance to wake up to the sound of the ocean right outside my door..it was heaven! Lara's parents were nice enough to let me stay at there house and I have to tell you, it's about as good as it gets! They have an amazing house on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Here's are a few pics:







Suffice to say, I'd forgotten how much I adore Santa Barbara. It's absolutely beautiful and so amazing. If I didn't have a child and family in KC, there would be a moving truck at my house this week. I don't care if I had to pitch a tent and live in Rob and Lara's backyard, I'd do it! It's that incredible.

We had a fabulous weekend together. There are too many things to go into detail about, but here a few quick snippets: we drank, we bbq'ed, we went wine tasting, we drank more, sat in the sun, played beach volleyball, I broke their car, drank more, ate more, drank more, etc. You get the idea! :)

I will go into detail about one thing. The Peanut Story. Hanging out with them is always fun and there always seems to be some hilarious story that ensues. Sunday night Lara and I cooked (well, Lara mostly) dinner for her family (fresh fish tacos, coleslaw, coconut ginger rice, homemade mango salsa,guacamole, and fresh mojitos. I forget how great the produce is in CA!). Lowell came over the brought the most amazing Ahi tuna I think I've ever had. After an amazing dinner, sunset (see picture in the next post)and few too many mojitos somehow we convinced ourselves going out would be a good idea...after all, I had to be up at 4:45am to catch my flight. Good decision making on my part! Lara was the only smart one and decided to take the kids home and call it a night (damn her!). We went to some place on State street and listened to some pretty good karaoke. Lowell tried his best to convince me to sing and lucky for everyone in the place I had enough sense not to. This bar happened to have shelled peanuts and apparently at some point, someone with us (still not quite sure who but I'd bet my money on Rob) decided it's be funny to fill my purse with peanuts. Ha. Ha. Ha. I got most of them out:

Somehow, I missed quite a few (either that or I had too much to drink and didn't see someone refilling my purse). At about 12am I started to feel really, really bad. I couldn't figure out why. I had only had 2 drinks at this bar. I somehow forgot about the glasses of wine we had while making dinner, the mojitos during dinner and the glasses of wine after dinner, then I topped it off with bourbon at the bar. I was convinced someone had ruffied my drink. It wasn't until the next day and I remembered everything I drank and realized I apparently ruffied myself. I must say, I haven't been that out of it in a LONG time. That 4:45am wake up call was ROUGH! I was definitely still drunk. Lowell had volunteered to take my to the airport (love him!) and conveniently slept on the driveway in his car. I rolled out and woke him up. I could barely talk on the way to airport. The entire time I was thinking about how bad I felt for the poor person who had to sit next to me on the place. After downing some coffee and choking down a banana (trust me, it wasn't easy) I boarded this tiny commuter plane for a 2 and half hour flight to Denver. Woo Hoo! Since it was a small plane I had to store my carry ons in the overhead. So I get settled into my window seat and then a guy sits down next to me. Holy shit! First of all he smelled like he hadn't taken a shower in a few days and secondly, his clothes smelled of curry and onions. This didn't set well with my stomach. I thought for sure I'd be able to pass out on the plane. No luck!!! I decided to get up and get some music from my bag. When I opened the overhead compartment my bag fell over along with my purse. Out came the peanuts. This poor, poor old lady ended up with peanuts sprinkled in her hair that I had to pick out. I couldn't even begin to explain to her why peanuts had fallen out of my bag. For one, I still couldn't really talk coherently and then I could hardly contain the laughter. Needless to say, it was the perfect ending to a grand weekend!!!

Thanks again to my wonderful hosts. As always...great times with great friends!

Here are few pics from the weekend:

A mock turtleneck...really???

As promised, a dating update (of lack there of):

I have all but given up on the online dating deal and decided to let fate work some magic so it's been pretty quiet for the past few weeks by choice. ....except for the constant chiming of my cell phone with text messages from a guy I have gone on one date with! We went out to dinner a few weeks ago and I thought then I might give him another shot. That was before I found out he was serial texter. Luckily he's gotten the hint and hasn't been nearly as bad the last week. The week after our date I am not kidding when I say 10-20 texts a day. And just random crap. It didn't matter if I responded or not...the texts kept coming! Now I will admit, I didn't tell you the full story on this one. The night before our actual first date we were both out with friends and ended up meeting up for a drink. He did warn me he wasn't exactly dressed appropriately as he had planned on going to a buddies house to play poker. That was an understatement. He was in total dad jeans (stonewashed yuckiness) and white tennis shoes. He's 36 but looked 46. I felt too bad not to at least go out to dinner with him the next night. I was pleasantly surprised when he showed up. He looked like a different guy. I decided to see what the 3rd 'meeting' would brinkg so I agreed to meet him last night for a drink. He wanted to see me before I left town. He came straight from work, as did I. Two words: mock turtleneck. I just can't do it. I know I am being really, what's the word, caddy. Even if I could get past the bad dresser aspect, we really don't have much in common besides golf. He's just plain not my type. And besides, anyone that really knows me knows what my biggest pet peeve is: sniffling. I have been known to offer people Kleenex's on occasion. The few times I have actually talked with him on the phone and not just texted he constantly sniffles. It drives me nuts. So the texting, dressing and sniffling has me saying, "buh bye' to this one. Ya think I can just do it over text?

I must go back a few days and tell you about some fun that was had last Friday night. Doesn't really have a dating punchline, but it was a good time! I went to happy hour with a single girlfriend. For sake of leaving off real names, we'll call her C. I have written about C. previously....we went to high school together and reconnected via the power of facebook. She is also trying the online dating thing so we get together and compare war stories.

We met at the Blue Moose and quickly decided the clientele (ie lack of cute guys) wasn't the best so she twisted my arm with the lure of free beer and we headed to Charlie Hooper's in Brookside. Much better atmosphere! We finally snagged a table. C. went up to the bar to get a round of drinks and all the sudden our table was surround by about 7 men who were looking for seats. Of course I couldn't say no. Some of them were pretty darn cute! They were happy we let them sit with us and proceeded to buy round after round after round of drinks. Needless to say it was cheap night. Our of the corner of my eye I see a familiar face. I was telling C. that I thought I knew him and he saw me mouth his name. He came over and sure enough it was a blast from the past. I hadn't seem him in probably 15 years. He was best friends with my HS sweetheart and one of the nicest guys I have ever known. He gave me the biggest compliment EVER by telling me I hadn't changed one bit from high school (I think he was exaggerating a little bit!). He even said he could still picture me in my pink prom dress. Okay. That was a little strange, but nonetheless I was extremely flattered. All the gym time is paying off! He got my digits and insisted we hang out. Might be interesting!

About 20 minutes later I see another familiar figure. I say figure because this guy has a distinct one. He's about 6'6 and in HS probably tipped the scale at 140. He's filled out a little since, but is still recognizable, even from the back. Again, I hadn't seem him in probably 10 years and last I heard he had moved from the Virgin Islands to Boston and had gotten married. C knew him as well since he was a HS cohort. He moved back to KC about 5 days earlier and we were able to sit and catch up for quite a while. It's killing me not to tell you who it was, but you can probably figure it out from my description above. Yes...he's married. No, he's not dead somewhere. I tried to convince him he needs to get on facebook but for some reason he seems resistent to people knowing what he's up to. So all in all, another fun happy hour with C.

I'm out for while a la a little vacation. I'm going to Santa Barbara to catch up with my best friends from Sacramento. We both moved away from Sacramento at the same time and haven't seen each other since. I am so looking forward to catching up and having a long weekend away from mommy-ville. Hope you have a good weekend! :) c.

Pure Exhaustion

Holy moly! First of all, you deserve an update and secondly, I deserve a vacation. Which I will get in less than 48 hours. But before I can get by butt on a plane I have some things to do. Why is it when you are trying to go out of town shit hits the fan? Let me tell you about my day. This has been pretty indicative of the last several days but it will help you understand why I am a tad worn out:

6:30am: Layla wakes up. I go into to get her, keep the lights off and step up to her crib. I notice something wet on the floor...not quite sure what it is until I grab her and feel her bare bottom. Lovely. At some point during the night she has completely stripped naked and proceeded to pee all over her bed and managed to pee on the floor. I though only boys coud projectile pee?

8:00am: Leave the house. Drop her off at daycare. Make 2 client calls on the way.

8:20am: Arrive at office. Proof an invitation for a baby shower and call the printer about the size being wrong. Explain to client that the envelopes she bought are the wrong size and will have to be changed. Almost get talked into hand addressing 57 envelopes but realize I can't handle that right now. Check email and facebook and prepare for showings I have today.

9:10am: Get a text from tonight's date that he's cancelling. Call babysitter to cancel. Slightly relieved.

9:30am: Head out for day 2 of showing an out of town buyer who is trying to learn the area. Drive all over the city answering questions, showing houses, walking in on naked people not expecting an agent, ya know. The usual stuff.

2:30pm: Arrive back at office. Run inside to return a few emails and phone calls.

2:50pm: Leave office to run 2 quick errands before heading to the gym (which was a must. Haven't been in 4 days). Decide while I am there I need to tan. Tan. Burn. New bulbs that they failed to mention.

4:40pm: Leave gym sweaty, gross and bright red. Notice 4 missed calls on cell phone. 3 of which were clients. One wants to see 3 houses in the evening. Call babysitter back to see if she can come over after I cancelled on her earlier. Get a 911 text from friend who needs a recipe. Followed up by 2 phone calls from said friend. Talk him through how to find the recipe.

4:44pm: Arrive at Layla's school. Talk to babysitter and get her back on board for the evening so I can show houses. One problem. Client wants to meet a 6:15pm, babysitter can't arrive until 6:45pm. Can't really meet client any later since it'll be dark by 8pm and we need to get to all the houses in before dark.

4:46pm: Get back in car. 2 more missed calls from client. Baby screaming in the back seat. Call co-op to set up showings. Layla still screaming. Call grandparents about filling in from 6-6:45pm, no go. Call back ups. 5th call a charm. Babysitter 1 will arrive at 6pm, babysitter 2 will arrive at 6:45pm. Layla still screaming.

5:08pm: Arrive at home. Get Layla something to drink. Pick up house because it looks a tornado came through and babysitter(s) will be arriving in less than an hour. Still sweaty and gross from workout so in the shower we go. Get a text from a guy (more details later). Wants to see me before I leave town. Decide I can take advantage of having a babysitter and meet for one drink after showings.

5:50pm: Finished getting ready although while getting ready get a call from another agent who needs some marketing pieces done before I leave town. In the process of racing downstairs to make Layla dinner I realize I need to put sheets on her bed since the pee incidence. Make Layla dinner, give her medicine, and get her stuff organized for babysitters. Babysitter one arrives.

5:58pm: Leave house. Return as many calls as possible during the 14 minute car ride.

6:15p-8p: Show houses.

8:15pm: Meet guy for drink

9:23pm: Arrive home. Realize tomorrow is trash day and I have about 15 bags on yard waste to haul to the end of the driveway. Finished. Exhausted. Want to go to bed. Brother calls. Needs help with something. Spend a half hour on the phone with him. Update blog.

That about covers my day. Here's to a better day tomorrow. And yes, I will update tomorrow with guy situations. Trust me....nothing (and I mean nothing) exciting!

Back to Reality (at least for a day)

Holy moly. The last 5 days have not been the most fun in my house. Since Saturday morning I've been nursing the little monkey back to health. She had a little case of the stomach flu. I've done countless loads of laundry, cleaned up throw up from what feels like every square inch of the house and watched hours upon hours of Barney and Sesame Street. At one point I had both Barney and Elmo playing simultaneously in the living room...I had brought down a portable DVD player so she could watch videos and I could catch up on the DVR. In the midst of me getting the DVD player started, both the big TV and her little one were going...one with Elmo, one with Barney. You should have seen her little eyes light up with the thought of watching both at the same time. I quickly had to put the kibosh on that. Yesterday was finally somewhat normal, albeit she was completely out of energy, she did get her appetite back and the throw up train rolled out of here. She's back to school today but tomorrow is D-Day with the tubes. I have to have her at the hospital at 6am...oh joy. I can't wait for it be over and for her to feel better!

I was able to break up the monotony with some texts back and forth with Country Boy. Okay, actually it wasn't some, it was a lot. Too many. He texts me constantly. And call frequently too. It's really turning me off and getting kind of annoying. Last night I had to laugh at myself. I just can't find a happy medium. Am I that difficult to please? Am I asking for too much here? These guys either crowd me too much or not enough. I can't seem to find that happy place with them. Maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't date them. If 20+ texts in one day annoys me, maybe I need to move on. In a perfect world I would be excited every time I got a text from him, not thinking, "what the hell do you want now". Which takes me back to the "your way too picky comment" I got from someone a few weeks ago. Look, I'm gonna say this once and for all. I need to be picky. I deserve to be picky. I am in no hurry. This isn't a race. I will eventually find what I am looking for but I certainly don't need to lower my standards after being back in the dating world less than 6 months. If at 50 I'm still single and living with Layla and 40 cats, then I might consider the lowering of the standards. But for right now, they are staying put...high and all.

PS: Guess who's back???? I keep getting texts from McScotty. I responded to one yesterday...yell at me now. I know I don't need him anywhere near my life, but it was kind of fun screwing with him (get your mind out of the gutter...I'm talking about messing him over text). It did keep me entertained for a few minutes!

A few things...

First of all, congrats to all the Mizzou fans out there. Must have felt awesome to beat Baylor for the Big 12 championship. And while it's no national championship banner, I'm just excited you'll have something to hang up in the new arena.

Second, you'll never guess who is actually taking the little monkey this afternoon for a few hours while I have to work. F-Head! I am beside myself. I will say, when I asked him if he could help out he came up some excuse about how he was taking some classes at the mosque and he wasn't sure if he could miss but he'll try. Wait a minute. What does he do about his 'classes' on all the weekends he goes out of town? Yet another story that doesn't add up. Nice.

And speaking of the little Monkey, I've been cleaning up projectile vomit for the past 24 hours. It's been really fun. I think I'm on load #7 of laundry. She hasn't thrown up yet today (I'm not holding my breath) but she woke up at 4am with a fever. She did manage to sleep in until almost 9:30am, which has never happened (Mommy took full advantage. I can't tell you the last time I got to sleep past 7:30am) I feel so bad for her. She just can't seem to get healthy! We are breaking down and having tubes put in her ears on Tuesday. She's had 9 ear infections in 6 months. It's time.

Absolutely Classic!

I'll get to the 'classic' moment from last night in a minute...

This week was a comedy. It started with a drink date Wednesday night. We're sitting there talking (nice guy by the way) and I ask if he grew up around KC. He says yes, just over at 119th and Metcalf. I asked where he graduated from HS (thinking he was a few years older than me). He says, "Northwest". Um, Blue Valley NW? Yes. What year? 1995. Back the truck up. We apparently graduated together and I have absolutely no recollection of him. I will say, we had a big graduating class, but you tell me a name or show me a picture and I could probably tell you 90% of the time if they graduated with me or not. I have a pretty good memory. He falls into that 10%. I asked who he was friends with and he mentioned one guy, but said he pretty much kept to himself in HS. Of course as soon as I got home I yanked out the year book and scoured the pages for him. Ahhh yes. Now I recognize him...vaguely. And yes, he did keep to himself, wasn't involved in any activities, etc. He was pretty much a nerd in HS, but honestly, he turned out pretty good. :) It's a small, small world!

Last night I had a dinner date with a guy who is getting a name, only because there will probably be another date. I'll call this one Country Boy, because that's exactly what he is. I will admit, I'm totally attracted to that for some reason. His family are all farmers and raise horses south of KC. He's in the car business (yes, another car biz guy). I think he's 3 years older than me. Has an 11 year old boy. Tall. Somewhat slim, but not too bad (ie he probably weighs more than me which is good). And really, really nice. He's a good guy. Total gentleman. Lots of fun.

Which brings to a total classic moment. After our date was over I went and met some friends. We end up a Tanner's on 119th. I was looking up something on my phone and I hear my friends ompletely making fun of some dude's hair and how he needs to go back to the 80's, blah blah blah. I look up and start laughing uncontrollably and can hardly get the words out of my mouth..."that is penis haircut guy from a few weeks ago". OMG! It's him. The guy who lied about his age, looked like a washed up surfer dude...remember him? He makes his way over and hangs out for a bit. I noticed my camera is in my purse. Classic. Completely classic. And for your viewing pleasure, here it is...the penis haircut:

I've decided...

Wow! What a busy week. I've tried to take on entirely too much this week and it's starting to catch up with me. And I realized, it's been a while since I've updated you on the going's on in my life, so here we go:

I've decided that F-Head must REALLY think I am stupid. Not only did he try to pull out the major lies last week about crap, but when I saw him on Monday we actually had a normal conversation that ended something like this: "You know Christian, there's still a chance for us". I could hardly contain my laughter and don't think I did. I mean seriously? Now I know for sure that he does in fact think I'm an idiot. Wow.

I've also decided that I hate taxes. No surprise here but I just don't understand this. Since I am self-employed and don't file a 1040 I get flippin screwed! I have over $25,000 in deductions to take this year and guess what? Most of it doesn't count. I about drop kicked my laptop down the street the other night. I was in turbo tax and start inputing my deductions. I am watching the little ticker that calculates your return. I thought the damn thing was broken. Here I am inputing all these deductions and the damn ticker never moved. WTF? Unbelievable.

On to my alustrious dating life...I really didn't have any new dates in the past week, but I have 3 coming up in the next few days. Tonight I am meeting yet another pilot guy for drinks. We've been communicating for almost a month now and are finally getting together. I am REALLY looking forward to Friday night's date. This one I just start talking to this week and we seem to have quite a bit in common (I know, you've heard this before). But really. The more I get to know about him, the more I can go to my 'want list' and check things off. What's the 'want list' you ask? It's a secret list I have that contains all the things I want in a man. Some of pretty basic, some more complex. Some downright impossible to fulfill but it's worth having on paper just in case. :) I'm realy excited to meet this one but I'm not holding my breath. The 3rd one is not really a date, although I think he thinks it is. A business associate of my Dad (can't remember if I told you about him or not), is cooking me dinner Sunday night. It's a really, really long story and needless to say I can't date him although I think he thinks (I know based on our conversations) that's where this is headed. I have put him off several times, cancelling for various reasons and I guess I just need to buck up and let him cook me dinner. Maybe then he'll stop calling.

I am off to Topeka for meetings (woo hoo!). Somehow I got put on the Vision Team for the Kansas Association of Realtors. I was looking at the list of people on this team and questioning if they made a mistake when they put me on it. Everyone else has either been a past president of the state or is an icon in the business. And then there's little ole me. I did have a conversation with the chair and she said they wanted some "young blood" on this team and thought I would fill that role nicely. We'll see how today goes, but I have to say, I am slightly intimidated (not a feeling a get very often). Wish me luck (and pray I don't say something stupid).

Does He Think I'm Stupid?

I'm a lot of things. There's one thing I am not: stupid. Apparently after 7 years on being in a relationship with F-head he never figured this out. I am so irritated right now I could scream. He's un-f-ing-believable.

For the past month or so I have been trying to get him to take Layla overnight here and there to help me out. I haven't asked for much (maybe once every other week). However every time I ask he comes with a different excuse. Actually, the excuse is pretty much the same: he has to go out of town. The reason varies somewhat: baseball tournament or he's running a race.

So last week I planned a little weekend get-a-way for myself the last weekend in March. I haven't had an entire weekend to myself in, well, 8 years. I emailed him with the dates I was going to be gone (4 nights total) and asked if he could at least help with one of those nights. He didn't respond which didn't surprise me. After all, he was in the California from last Sunday until Wednesday on vacation. I had also asked to see if he could take her this Friday night as I wanted to go out...I knew he would HAVE to say 'no' to something and this would give him a night to say 'no' to. My strategy failed.

So I call him this evening since I had never heard back from him. First off, I ask if he got my email. His response: "No. I don't have internet access. At work or on my phone". Um...bullshit. You get a brand new I-Phone about every 3 months and just last week you were showing me something online on your phone when I picked up Layla. Seriously...he must think I'm stupid. I go on to tell him the content of my email was several upcoming dates I needed him to pitch in and take Layla overnight.

Before I could even tell him the actual dates he tells me, "Well, I am going to be running in a race this Saturday morning at 7am. Then the last weekend in March I am running in race that is Fri-Sun.". I say, "That's odd. Those are the exact dates I emailed you about. What a coincidence." After he tried to lie his way out of his own stupidity, I go on to tell him the last weekend in March I am leaving Thurs and coming back Mon so maybe he can help out on either Thurs or Sun nights (since his race was Fri-Sun and he told me about 2 mins prior it was in Kansas City). This is were it gets good.

He says (and actually expects me to believe), "I'm running a circuit marathon. 26.2 miles in St Louis on Fri. 26.2 Miles in Kansas City on Saturday. Then another 26.2 miles in Denver on Sunday. I've already booked my ticket for Denver. So, sorry. Can't help.".

Are you F-ING kidding me??? First of all, he doesn't run long distance. Second of all, 3 marathons in a row???? I might be blonde, but I am not stupid. He is such a mother f-ing a-hole. On second thought...maybe I am the stupid one: I married the mother f-ing a-hole to begin with.

I am f-ing pissed (can you tell by all my f-bombs?). I just can't over his blatent lying. I also can't over the fact that he doesn't want to spend more time with his daughter. This boggles my mind. I've always thought (and probably always will) that his reasons are not because of spending time with Layla, but because of me. He wants to make my life as difficult as possible and by saying 'no' EVERY time I ask for extra help he someway thinks he's accomplishing this. Again, he's un-f-ing-believable.