Belly Buttons

I don't really have a grande update for you (I do have a hysertical story below though, unrelated to dating). I've actually taken the last week and half or so 'off' from dating so to speak. I did have drinks with Boston Boy last Wednesday (before he left town for Thanksgiving). It was average. I was having an incredibly stressful week so I know I wasn't myself. But like it said, it was alright. I'm starting to not like him as much as I thought I did. We'll see if anything transpires on that front. I haven't completely closed the door but red flags are flying up faster than they should. I did (like 2 minutes) ago agree to meet a guy for drinks this weekend. I know...I know. I've been breaking the weekend rule a lot lately. But this guy is a morning news anchor and gets up a 3am during the week...which also means he goes to bed at 8pm. He seems interesting. I was happy yesterday when I finally got his last name, figured out which station he works for (it's not in Kansas City but close enough he can commute), and proceded to cyber-stalk him on you-tube. He's cute. But really...anyone doing the morning news comes off a cheesy. We'll see what he's like in person (provided he doesn't flake like every other guy I seem to attract).

I will tell you probably the funniest thing that has come out of l's mouth to date...this happened about 2 weeks ago. I took her on a quick shopping trip to Kohls. I was in the 'lingerie' section. She was secured in the seat on the front of the cart. I was in the rear of the cart. I turn to look at her and see she has pulled the most obnoxious, red, lacy bra off the rack and is examining it. The following conversation ensues...

ME: L, put that back. This is not your department and you can't touch things.
L (in a very serious, matter-of-fact voice): Yes Mommy. I know this is not my department. This (holding up the said bra) is NOT my size. My belly buttons are NOT this big (pointing to the bra cups).

Belly buttons? Really? Where in the hell did she come up with that?!? I, along with 2 other women in ear shot, fought back tears from laughing so hard. The stuff she comes up with never ceases to amaze (and humor) me.

Uneventful Weekend

I know you're holding your breath waiting to hear how the weekend dates went. Big news...there weren't any. That's right...NONE! The new guy turned into a flake. I still haven't heard from him. Apparently it's the "in" thing to do. I was telling a girlfriend yesterday, I think the anonymity of online dating lends itself to flakes. I ran across quite a few when I did online dating before, and once again I'm running across them again. Although this one really surprised me. Usually I can read them better and this one seemed far from a flake. Who knows. All I know is I spent some quality time with good friends and of course Layla. I got a boat load of laundry done, Christmas lights are up (and mighty straight), yard is mowed (hopefully for the last time this year), house is clean, and I'm ready for a good week!

And Boston Boy/Houdini. We didn't go out this weekend but did have some brief, but very thought provoking conversations. I made it very clear to him what I wasn't looking for. He asked if he could just get a do-over with our entire relationship (if you can even call it that...2 dates hardly constitutes a 'relationship'). I told him maybe but he's has some explaining to do first. I got a very heart felt apology about his communication skills (or lack there of). He told me (with out going into detail) that he's had some shit hit the fan in the last 2 weeks and while that wasn't fair to me, he had to take care of some things. He did tell me he would explain more when we saw each other again. Who knows when that will be...he leaves Wednesday for Thanksgiving in Boston. Meanwhile, I have a pretty eventful week planning. Lot's of fun stuff going on around here with friends coming in town, etc. Looking forward to it!

To believe or not believe...that is the question.

Well, well, well. You probably read my update to the entry yesterday about finally hearing from him. (via text). I probably should have waited to see how the conversation unfolded before I updated. He did call. And he did start profusely apologizing and gave me the following story for why he disappeared:

Apparently he took his phone to the gym with him Sunday afternoon and had it on the treadmill. It fell off, bounced around, and the completely broke/screen shattered/blah blah blah. Since it's his 'personal' cell phone, he doesn't have the contacts in it linked to a computer, etc. He had insurance but that meant filing a claim and waiting for the phone to be shipped. In the meantime, he couldn't access phone numbers, text, etc etc etc. He got the new phone yesterday and was able to retrieve all his contacts (via some card..who the hell knows). So that's his story and he's sticking to it. I offered to show me the insurance claim as proof (whatever).

So the question becomes...should I give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him or run for the hills? My head tells me to run (as all of you are probably screaming right now). My heart tells me give him one more shot (3 strikes and you're out). There is just so much about him I like. He has a wonderful combination of qualities that are so hard to find (trust me, I've been on enough dates to know a good one when I see one and to know how hard is to find all these great qualities in one package so the speak). That's why I'm siding with my heart (yell at me now...get it out of the way). I might just be glutting for punishment and disappointment, but that's on me. Totally my fault..I know I'm setting myself up for a let down but I think the benefits outweigh the risks. What's the harm in going on one more date with him (at least I get a nice dinner and some good wine). And trust me, he'll be berated with a lot of tough questions. I need to figure out quickly if we truly are looking for the same thing.

Houdini!

I'm a little mad. A tad hurt. But more frustrated than anything. Allow me to back up and share with you the events of the weekend in timeline format:

Thursday night...make plans with Boston Boy (who is from here on out refered to as Houdini) to hang out Friday. I tell him I have a friend coming in town that I would like to hook up with at some point but don't know the exact plan yet, let's just plan to touch base Friday and figure out plans.

Friday at noon...I text him to tell him I'm not meeting my friend so I'm available for whatever, let me know what you want to do.... don't hear back, 4pm, still nothing....5pm still nothing....6pm still nothing. I call a girlfriend and make other plans. Enough of the waiting game. If you can't call me by 6pm to confirm our very loosy-goosy plans, then I'm moving on.I'm not desperate. I'm not going to wait by my phone and be at your beckon call.

7:15pm...I'm on my way to Brookside to meet said girlfriend and guess who texts me. That's right...at 7:15pm to make plans for the evening. He asked what I am doing and I bluntly tell him I'm headed to meet a girlfriend. I didn't hear from him so I made other plans. He tells me he's very sorry, he has a work and personal cell phone and forgot to take the personal cell with him to work. Whatever. He says "I missed out". Yes...yes you did!

That bring us to Saturday. I knew he was flying to Chicago for the day for a business meeting. We text back and forth a little. He asks what I am going that evening. I tell him I'm hanging with Layla but that I'm free Sunday evening. He asks if I want to do something. I know he's a big Patriots fan so I suggest we go grab drinks and watch the game Sunday evening. He's say, "I'd love that...sounds like a good plan". In the midst of the texts he tells me several times he misses me...he hasn't seen me since Tuesday..he wishes we could just chill together Saturday night...blah blah blah.

So...Sunday rolls around. He texts  me (notice the trend here...he can't seem to actually call, just texts) about 12:30 to see what I'm up to. I tell him I just dropped off Layla with her dad, I'm going to run errands and hit the gym. He responds: "great...text me when you're done". So finish up about 3:30pm. I call him (heaven forbid). No answer. Left him a msg to call me when he gets a minute so we can come up with a plan for the evening. No answer. No phone call. No text. 6:30pm I text him to see what the hell is going on. No answer. No phone call. Nothing. It's now Wednesday...I still haven't heard from the bastard. Are you kidding??? I'm pretty much over it now. Just frustrated and trying to figure out what the hell happened. Playing a guessing game is not fun. I mean if you decided you just didn't like me and didn't want to see me, have the f-ing balls to tell me. Don't just stop communicating. Don't just leave me hanging out there. Especially when you told me numerous times the day before you missed me, couldn't wait to see me and hang out, etc. I mean please!

NEXT! Have no fear....I have a date lined up for Friday. Yes...I know. It's a weekend night and they shouldn't get a weekend for a first timer, but I have a crazy week and that is the only night that worked for both of us. Plus I need something to keep my mind off of Houdini.

***UPDATE***
Approximately 2 hours after putting this on my blog Houdini texted me. HAHAHA. Maybe he's hacked the blog somehow! Here's what he said: "Hey Christian, how's it going?". WTF??? No, I'm sorry, I'm an ass, etc etc etc. Nope. Just a very casual, hey what's up. ARE YOU KIDDING? Here's the horrible thing, I like him. I'm having a hard telling him to just go f-himself. What the hell is wrong with me????

Figuring him out

I know, this update is about 2 days late. I've actually been busy with real work (amazing I know!). Trust me when I say, I'm not complaining!

So, Tuesday night I saw Boston boy again (that's what my friends have started calling him). When we planning the date, he suggested I just come over there and hang out, have some wine, watch a movie, etc. I will admit, I was slightly nervous about the whole thing. Not that I didn't feel comfortable around him, but that's a lot of pressure for a second date. If the conversation isn't flowing, there is little to distract us. It's intense. But, I went. I will also admit, I was looking forward to checking out his living situation. That's tells a lot about someone!

Right now he's living in a apartment (he wants me to help him find a house ASAP). The apartment is small but well appointed and VERY VERY clean (even the bathroom!). It's also very well decorated. I asked if he did it himself and he said yes, he loves to do that kind of stuff. Surprising because he doesn't come off as being that type of guy. He is also a collector of fabulous, one of kind art pieces. Suffice to say, I'm a little intimidated to have him over to my place! I was so happy to see he doesn't live like a a freaking 21 year old (that was one of my huge grips about Manhattan boy...he lived like he was still in college). Nope, Boston boy owns real, grown up furniture and all! :)

So the actual conversation/date review: It went really well. Conversation flowed easily. I was completely comfortable just hanging on the couch with him and relaxing. He asked several times if I wanted to go out and get drinks for a while since this was odd for a second date. I did just fine though. We talked about our families (found out his parents also recently relocated to Overland Park), sports, politics,and other random things. And, he's quite the talented kisser. ;)

I'm very cautiously optimistic about him. It'll definitely take hanging out with him a little more to 'figure him out'. I'm still trying to decide if he's looking for a real relationship or just a casual thing. It's hard to tell after only 2 dates. We are supposed to go out again tonight though. We'll see what happens!

Quickie

I'm will update in more detail later, but the second date last night was just as good as the first!!! We had a lot of fun and really got to talk/get to know each other better. More to come...work calls!

Breaking Rules

Absolutely, most definitely, worth breaking my "no weekend nights for 1st dates" rule. Wow! Double Wow!

When I'm asked to describe my "type", the person I picture in my head is the person I met last night. I will have to say, I was a little hesitant because he only had one picture on his profile. This rarely happens, but he was actually better looking than his picture. He's about 6'4, average build (perfect..not to skinny and in shape). And he looks a lot like Ben Affleck...in a scary way. He's also from Boston. Played football (defensive end) at Boston College. He's only 31 but wow, the maturity level is incredible. He moved to KC about 6 months ago to run the midwest division of what sounds like a family owned financial advising company. I was a little tipsy (we'll get to that in a minute) and we didn't spend a ton of time talking about his work, but he did mention he oversees about 350 employees/advisors. Ok then.

So back to the beginning of this date. Do you think it's bad to show up tipsy to a first 'date'? Well I did. I didn't intend on it happening, but the beers were going down really well yesterday afternoon (I was at a restaurant/bar cheering on LSU). Needless to say, I was already 5 beers in when I met him. Luckily we did something completely low key and met at Tanners. I'm pretty sure the beers made me more relaxed, but I'm also pretty sure I said some things that probably didn't sound exactly right. I can't tell you what those are, because I don't know, but I'm just guessing I said some pretty stupid things/told pointless stories/etc. We stayed for about 2 and half hours, which is pretty good for a first 'meet and greet'. The conversation flowed easily. The kiss at the end of the date also felt effortless. No awkwardness. No hesitation (again, all the beer I had had probably helped but whatever). He invited me to go to a Chief's game in a few weeks that he has to take clients too. He told me he wants to go to Dallas to see Kenny with me in April. We've talked about going skiing this winter. Yeah. It pretty much went well.

So the date ended about 9:30 because he was going to go meet some friends that were in town. I decided to run up to Coaches to see if my Dad was still there drinking and watching the Tenn game. About 20 minutes after I left him, he had already texted me. He told me he really didn't want our date to end and asked me if I wanted to meet back up for a glass of wine after he went and said hi to his friends. I said yes, but after another 3 beers at Coaches I decided I was tipsy enough to start making bad decisions. I really liked this guy and didn't want to screw it up (excuse the pun) on the first night. I was a good, good girl and went home. ;)

So after over-analyzing the entire date in my head all morning I wondered if it really did go as well as I felt it did. What if he didn't like me? What if he was just looking for one night of fun? Oh the anguish! And then, my phone ding donged. It was him. Sending me a text. Checking in to see how I was feeling this morning. So sweet! We've been texting back and forth sporadically all day. He asked me out again. I said yes. We have plans for Tuesday...which also happens to be my monthly happy hour with the girlfriends (since Tues and Thurs are my only child-free nights during the week I try to cram in as much as I can to those nights). Happy hour starts at 5:30pm so I told him it would have to be around 7 or a little after. I can't wait to see him again! The bad news is, I might show up a little tipsy again after happy hour. Oops! Or maybe I need to learn a little restraint! ;)

The online dating strategy...

So, I told you yesterday there were a few guys I was talking to through match. A few has now turned into 5. Not because I meant to though! My online dating strategy is as follows: I talk to no more than 3 guys at once (if it's more than 3 then I feel like I need a spreadsheet to keep them straight and that's just not fun). Ideally, it's 2 at a time. I've learned with this online dating thing it's normal practice to respond to email 24-48 hours later. I mean, please. You're apparently considered desperate if you respond to an email within the first 12 hours of someone sending it. The way I was raised, that's considered rude but what the hell do I know. Sometimes I abide by this ridiculous rule, others times I say 'screw the damn rules'. Anyway, because it can be a slow process, talking to 2-3 at one time isn't so overwhelming. So I talk to 2-3, meet them, find out we aren't soul mates, then it's on to the next 2-3 guys. I'm kidding by the way about the soul mates thing...I don't put too much pressure on these dates. But seriously, if we meet and I (or sometimes they) figure out it's probably not going to work then it's on to the next. I mean why waste valuable time here. Online dating is much like sales...if it's obvious you aren't going to close the deal, cut the client loose and move on. And keep the funnel full...don't put all your eggs in one basket...insert another cliche statement here. As always, if someone else out there seems to have a better idea to tackle the online dating thing, by all means, tell me. What really screws things up is when you have 3 guys and then by some magical grace of god, you actually meet someone in real life you'd maybe like to get to know. That throws the whole strategy out the window. And when I say "magical Grace of god", I'm not kidding. Being 33 and single isn't easy. It can definitely be fun, I won't deny that. But dating at 33...not so much.

That said, I was suppose to meet someone for drinks this evening but apparently he's tied up at work (whatever). Instead I'm now meeting a few single girlfriends and we will surely raise some hell. He wants to go out Saturday night. That's against my personal rules (first dates don't get weekends). But ya know what, I might just screw that rule because I'm child free Sat night and have yet to make plans. What the hell...might as well live on the edge right?

I'm back!

I'm back! I know, I know, it's been over a week (maybe 2?) since I've given you an update. It's been an interesting 2 weeks to say the least. I've taken a break from online dating. As one of my friends put it, it's almost like rush. Good analogy...I was exhausted! I'm back at it now though and 'talking' to several potentials. None worth mentioning quite yet.

However...here's a reason I took a break. The freaks are back! Check these guys out who emailed me:



There are so many things wrong about this picture but that's not even the best part of his profile. Here's his verbiage he uses (disclaimer: as hard as it was, I did not edit):

"iam a country guy that loves to be outdoors. i am a tlocal truck driver i have a roping horse and used to ride bulls and brack horses. love to spend time with family and friends. i love drive around and ps. ing"

Not quite sure what he means when he says "he loved...ps. ing", but I don't want to find out. Next!!!!!

I was so pleasantly shocked when I got an email from this guy. Surely he wasn't serious. The dude looks like my Dad:




I take that back...he looks nothing like my Dad...my Dad wears much cooler jeans!

Now you know why I took a break. I needed to regroup. During my break though I've had a little fun (some nights a little too much fun). I'm not going into detail, but it's been a good couple of weeks.

Stay tuned for more updates...