Boo!

I swear...how in the world is it already Halloween? I just want to put the brakes on life right now and make things slow down. Wish me luck accomplishing that!!!

That being said, I have about 3 minutes to give you a 20 minute blog spot so I'm going to use one of my favorite tactics....bullet points! Here's what new in my life in the past week or so:

• Teacher guy that I reconnected with: yeah. Haven't really heard from him since we had drinks over 2 weeks ago. Surprise. Surprise. On to bigger and better and thing. 
• In true "this is my crazy life" form, I went out last Wednesday night and ended the evening the driving around JoCo in a limo full of people I barely know. Don't ask. I mean, that's what happens every Weds night right? 

So here's probably the best story from the last 2 weeks so I'll expand beyond the good ole bullet point. I doubt if anyone remembers, but last year about this time I went to Topeka for state meetings. I ended up meeting this REALLY attractive guy (his Mom was getting an award so he was there to support her). We had a great time, exchanged numbers, became besties on facebook, but it never went anywhere. So...Sat my sister and I innocently went to a local establishment to have lunch, a few beers and watch football. We walked in and he was sitting there with a friend. We chatted for a minute and then he invited us to join them (and of course I didn't say no!). 8 hours later....we left. And yes, we ended up making out. I've actually heard from him a few times since. We'll see if it goes anywhere this time, but he's a keeper. Even my sister thinks so!

So as most of you know, I have a reputation....I usually can come up with some pretty crafty halloween costumes. Nothing will beat the "untrimmed bush" from 2 years ago (BEST story behind that one!), and "one night stand" from last year was pretty clever. I refuse to cave and buy some store bought costume for $60 that includes half an outfit and a pair of panty hose made for a midget. I think I've come up with a pretty good one for this year. You'll have to stay tuned...I'll post a pic next week. Saturday night is the big party I go to every year. The costume is ready but I know I need to decide who to take....um...could get interesting! 

And I know feel as though I have completed the most ADD blog post ever. I guess thats what happens when you don't post for 2 weeks. :)

Full Circle

So I mentioned the other day some dating developments...some guys making a come back so to speak. Well this week it all came full circle...

Real quick though...the newbie I had a date with on Weds turned out exactly as I suspected...completely BORING! The most exciting thing that happened on our date was when I dropped a piece of food down my cleavage and spent 15 minutes trying to distract his attention so I could reach down and pull it out. Needless to say, that was an OTO date.

First off, married dude...who is apparently now "divorced was finalized this week" dude. Seriously. I'll admit now I jumped to conclusions but that was only after several reliable sources told me he was still married. I, apparently, should I have gone straight to the source. That said, we are definitely still very much on the friend level and will be for some time (there's a lot of baggage there that needs to be dealt with). There is still a huge attraction there. Once he gets his 'shit together' it might be on.  I did however hang out with him Thursday afternoon and part of the night... (rest of the story below)

And the winking teacher... for some reason last weekend we just up and started talking again. And when I say talk, I mean we were texting. The guy seriously can't figure out how to dial out on his phone have an actual conversation. According to him, he's now in a much better place and might actually be ready for a relationship...the question is, am I? I am, but not sure if he's the one I want to be in a relationship with....

There is a new possible horse in the race. I met him in Lawrence the weekend of the Legends game. I honestly didn't expect to continue to talk to him after that weekend. We had hung out, had a good time but I didn't know or expect any staying power. He's been texting and (get this) actually calling ever since to check in. He coaches at JR college about 2 hours away. He has practice every night which makes it a challenge to actually plan a time to get together. He's been pretty relentless though about trying to come up here and get together. I may actually be hanging out with him tonight but we'll see.

But...let's take a little trip back to Thursday. So we had a work function and some of us went to happy hour after (and when I say happy hour, it was more like 'happy afternoon'). Married dude (I'll think of a better name later but it works for now) came to hang out. Around 6pm everyone went their separate ways for different reasons. He said he wanted to come back out later but it wouldn't be until about 9:30pm or so. I ended up going to watch the guys play softball. Winking teacher and I started texting...he was being cute saying he missed me, etc. about 9pm I got bored and went home. At 9:20 married dude called to find out where we were...he was coming back out. I decided it was early, I might as well head back out. We decided on place that's become infamous on Thursday night as the place to be. We settled into a little corner of the bar (one that gave us a great view of all the mayhem going on...great people watching!). All the sudden a look across the bar and outside the open garage doors. I see a head that looks strikingly familiar. Winking teacher? Could it be? There's no way. He lives a half an hour from here, he's an administrator at school so he doesn't really go out during the week, but holy shit, there he was. And we'd been texting all night??? I'm surprised I recognized him. I mean, I haven't freaking seen him since June. I decided to head to the bathroom to collect my thoughts. There I was with married dude on one side of me (granted, it's friends only, but there is definitely still interest there). I walk out of the bathroom, round the corner, and BAM! Ran right into him. He looked like a deer in headlights. I didn't quite know what to say. We were both pretty speechless and it was obviously awkward. The conversation was brief. I scurried back to my corner of the bar and regroup. I see him gather his friend (he was with another dude) and start searching the bar with his eyes (not hard to do when you're 6'5). He doesn't see me. I see him reach into his pocket and pull out his phone. OF COURSE! Let's text her!!! That what he does best. Before I could respond he sees me but continues to text. I tell him to come over. He comments that I "look busy". To an outsider, I did. I was surrounded by about 6 of my favorite guy friends. I tell him to get over it and come over. Finally, he puts the damn phone down and comes over. We end up getting over the awkwardness and actually have a great conversation. He asked a few times if he was 'interrupting something'. I assure him he isn't but I'm not blind...I can see married dude giving us the stare down. I'll admit, I was laughing hysterically inside.

Turns out, he was in my 'neck of the woods' for some administrator meetings. And, it turns out he was going to be back on Friday. He asked me to meet him after he was down and I obliged. He ended up leaving my side and made his way back to his friend. His friend had become cozy with 2 gals. The funny thing is, I know these gals. I know them because F-head dated one about 3 months ago. HAHAHAH! Small world we live in folks!!!

So I had doubts I would even hear from teacher dude on Friday. I did though. And we met. It was good but it still felt slightly forced for some reason. I still have some interest in him but came to realize pretty quickly that I wasn't all that hung up/mesmerized by him anymore. Now, I would go out with him again and see where it goes, but I'm certainly not going to be devastated if I don't see him for another 4 months. He's great...don't get me wrong. But after everything that happened between us, my interest is waining.

Sorry...this one has gotten too damn long. So that brings me to tonight... married dude wants to do something...coach I met in Larryville wants to do something...decision, decisions! We'll see who wins out. Right now, I'm thinking coach since getting together with him is few and far between. That being said, he can't get up here until 9pm. Perhaps I work it out so I see both...

It's been a minute!

It's been a few since I posted last. My life and schedule have been out of control the last few weeks so finding spare moments to sit down and fill you in on madness has been fleeting. That being said...this could get long:

I never filled you in on part 2 of the Legends of the Phog weekend. Part 2 went a whole lot like part 1. Lot's of quality time spent with some high profile basketball players and coaches. Nothing too crazy but lots of fun that's for sure! Part 2 did have a little bit a cloud hanging over it for me. On my way back up to Lawrence for the game Saturday I got a phone call you don't want to get. The little one was with her Dad and when I answered my phone I couldn't understand what he was saying through the hysterical crying. My head was in my throat as I finally made out the words: "my father died". It was heartbreaking and relieving all in same split second (the relief that it wasn't our child in an accident, etc etc etc). I did what any normal ex-wife would. I turned around and headed back to KC. I made some phone calls, rallied some troops, got him booked on a flight for 2 hours later, got my daughter out of there and got him to the airport. He was a mess as anyone would be. It was a very sudden death (massive heart attack) that no one was prepared for. I've talked to him almost every day since and I can sense he's starting to get past the shock and get a hold of his grief. It's going to take him and his family a while to do both.

So last week it meant I once again faced a very challenging week with very little down time being a Mommy. Had it been any normal week it wouldn't have seemed to daunting but it wasn't a normal week. For the past 3 years I have chaired a fairly large event for an organization near and dear to my heart (a therapeutic horse riding facility). They are a small organization that's only 5 years old and this event is their largest source of income for the year. We have a great committee in place for the event but it seems no matter what I say, or what I do, I tend to always take on a little more than I should. Once again my house was filled with all the auction items, I was ordering food from vendors, I had 2 computers going to do all the printed material for the event, multiple spreadsheets for rentals, catering, timelines for the evening, etc etc etc. Needless to say I spent somewhere around 12-14 hours a day in the days leading up to the event working on that. It was a lot. Especially coming off a crazy weekend. But, it was well, well worth it. The event was an amazing success. We raised nearly double what we ever have. Over $40K for this small little ranch. Truly incredible!

I have some great dating updates to share with you but I'll save those for a later post as this is getting long and my ADD is kicking in. A few teasers for you...

The winking teacher (the guy I was hung up on all summer) is kind of back in the picture...
I had to play golf all day yesterday with the 'douche bag married guy' (yeah, that was interesting at best)....
Ran into a guy I met about 2 years ago (the pilot for anyone with a good memory) and we've been 'talking'...
And, I have a date tomorrow night with a newbie from match.com who is a nice nerd, albeit a little intense for never having met him (he told me the other day my profile picture makes his heart go pitter-patter). WTH is that.

More to come on those stories later! :)

What an unforgettable weekend!

I don't even know where to start (or end for that matter). I'm certainly not going to go into grave detail here (mostly because I really can't given the players involved in the madness). I will however give you the cliff notes version...as always, no real names will be used. You'll have to 'read between the lines' on this one!

We (myself and 2 other gals...everyone else bailed on us!) arrive Friday night at the party location. We arrive a tad later than we were supposed but none the less we were the ONLY ones there. We gave each other a puzzled looked and decided to give it a half hour to see what happens. Oh...it happened! Within about 15 minutes a few groups of people showed up but still no legends. About 5 minutes later the limos started pulling up...it took 2 minutes to turn a near empty bar into the COOLEST place in the country to be for the next few hours. It was elbow to elbow Legends. Legit! The best part...I felt short!!! Usually I'm one of the tallest people (for sure girl) in the bar. I had worn my big girl heels for a reason. One of the gals with me (we'll call her "S") is only about 5'2. We laughed at that fact that no one could really see her. Enough about that...you don't need to know about how I felt, you want to hear about what happened....

It was pretty amazing just to sit back and watch, listen to conversations, and just chat with everyone. One guy came up and introduced himself to the 3 of us pretty early on. I had absolutely no clue who he was, but I was about to find. We was the "main event's" personal assistant. This little guy from Boston. Apparently we passed inspection (they had to make sure we weren't some crazy groupies I suppose).  So at some point I head to the bathroom. I walked out and there was a small group huddled together. It included a current coach (the big cheese) and some past players. The Big Cheese (BC) grabbed me and asks this little group if they had met me. He knew I had graduated about the same time as all of them. He introduces to me to them as "the greatest diver ever in the State of KS". Really? Not quite, but I didn't mind that introduction. After all, standing in this group was 3 VERY well known 'legends'. There was one guy standing there who looked familiar but I couldn't place his name. After spending about 10 minutes talking to them I excused myself. Not long after, here came the nameless guy. He told me he
"finally figured out who I was" (WTF...I'm trying to figure out who all you people are). We graduated about the same time and he went on to tell me how he had a huge crush on me in college. Again, WTF. I don't really even remember him. I was pretty dumbfounded that he remembered me. It was pretty cool. And so was he. We'll just call him BT. I found out he lives in the area and from what I can gather is single. Might get interesting!

So we left the party about 2 hours in. Everyone was headed to yet another 'party'. This one however was at an absolutely packed to the gills with college students 'dance club'. We were quickly escorted to the 'private room' that was not so private and not so much of a room. It literally felt like a dungeon. Complete with cut outs in the stone walls with huge openings to the rest of the bar. Those openings were quickly filled with tons of faces (and camera phones) peering in to the 'who's who in basketball history'. I felt pretty honored to be in that room. I pretty much sat back with BT and just watched the comedy ensue. But like every good party...it had to end. It was one of those nights you want to relive over and over and over again. We hung for a little while, exchanged some numbers and off we went.

Saturday brought a whole new day of adventures. Somewhat similar to Friday night. I'm tired of typing so you're just going to have to wait for part 2 later!!!

I'll leave you with one very VERY blurry picture taken on Fri night during a little speech/toast that someone was giving...

FREAK OF THE WEEK!

It's Friday....that means FREAK OF THE WEEK time!

I have a two this week...

Up first, we have "my wedding picture will make a great profile pic for Match.com". Enough said:

I'm not even going to start on the actual people in the picture. A closer look and I think I just may have found Willy Wonka's missing umpa-loompa. Enough.

And then there's this guy. It looks likes a scene out of Something About Mary gone all wrong:

What would actually make him think this is a good picture to attract women? And furthermore, the whole idea is to post pictures from this decade on your profile. If you're going to post a picture that is 5 years old, for god's sake take the date tag off it!  The sad thing is, the rest of his pictures are pretty decent. 

Gotta run...getting ready for the big 'party' tonight.  :)

PS: Douche bag wasn't at the event last night...apparently he had to stay in Arizona to "talk to people" a little longer than initially thought. Baahwahwawa! 

UPDATE:

I prematurely posted... I hadn't even made it through all of that guy's pictures and I found this little jewel: 

As if the first one wasn't gross enough! 

Random Updates

It's been a few since I've updated...partly because I've been super busy and partly because the stories haven't been all too exciting. I do have some fun updates though (and some really exciting things on the plate for this weekend!). Here goes...

F-head got back in town late Thurs night. I really didn't get a chance to talk to him until swim lesson Monday. Yes, every week we both attend L's swim lesson. It's a blessing and curse. The good thing is we get to sit down for a half hour every week and catch either up on what's going on, our schedules for the upcoming weeks, etc. So I asked him about his little trip. He is sticking to his original story that he was just in CA. He also went off on a tangent about his girlfriend/fiance/cousin. He actually said, "I would be crazy to get engaged to a cousin in Germany". Really? That's my line. Needless to say, I still don't care. I'm just happy things are back to normal in my life.

So the married dude is apparently back from 'rehab'.  And I apparently might see him tonight. I can't wait!!! I get to call him out in person. I'm certainly not going to make a spectacle of it as we'll be at an industry function however, I'm going to make the bastard squirm.

So big plans this weekend....on Saturday KU is having this little 'legends of the phog' game were they are bringing back a lot of the former players that went on to the NBA. The majority are current NBA players that are able to come due to the lock out. We (meaning me and some other girlfriends) have been invited to a private little party on Friday night with with all the players and coaches. Don't ask how we got invited, just be jealous. We are also going to go to the actual game on Saturday. Should have some great stories after this weekend!

A dating update... (figure I have to do this): I've now been on Match about 2 weeks and have honestly not had any emails/winks (which are ridiculous...it's like making eye contact with a girl at a bar and never getting the balls to actually go talk to her). That changed a little this week. I got an email for a guy that seemed half interesting. We talked (yes, actually had a real, live conversation) for the first time last night. Oh yes, we talked. For almost 2 hours!!! I hung up my phone and looked at the call timer and couldn't believe it. He was more than half interesting....he actually managed to hold my attention for longer than 20 minutes. I not holding my breath but we'll see what develops with this one. More later!

Finkle is Einhorm...Einhorn is Finkle.

So I finally heard from F-head (I refrain from using his real name as I do from using any real names. F-head is by far the easiet and most efficient name for him...plus it's not really THAT far off from his real name ). He emailed me to offer his apologies for not being in touch the past 3 weeks. He apparently was somewhere in the world with no internet or phone access. Funny...because you managed to break up with girlfriend at some point during the past 3 weeks and if you weren't in Germany and didn't have phone and internet then you must have some mad skills. You'd be proud... I sent back a scathing email telling him 'sorry' wasn't going to cut it. He's shown total disregard for his responsibilities with his child..blah blah blah. He responded and told me I could have easily called his mothers' home if there was an emergency and that I didn't need to go around emailing his sister and contacting his cousin, and..

WAIT! Back the truck up... YOUR COUSIN??? TIME THE F OUT. The only 2 people I had 'contact' with was his sister (I finally emailed her Monday to ask if she knew how I might to able to reach our little world traveler) and his girlfriend. And for the record, the girlfriend contacted me. I just took the opportunity to find out if she by chance knew where he was. So...if I'm reading into this situation correctly, Finkle is Einhorn... Einhord is Finkle. COUSIN=GIRLFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND=COUSIN. Oh holy hell. Only in my world. Apparently the practice of marrying your cousins in not just confined to Arkansas. When, oh when, are these idiots going to learn that marrying your cousin is just not smart. Here we go again...18 degrees of crazy.

I'm just going to go back to regularly scheduled programming called my life and continue along my happy little way and attempt to ignore the complete shit show going on around me. Thank you and I hope you have a lovely day.

Participation Medals

Who doesn't love a great crazy ex story. I will preface this by saying our relationship has improved ten-fold over the past 12 months. We can actually have meaningful conversations that extend beyond just "what time did L eat?". However, he still does stupid stuff. I thinks it's inherent.

I mean who the in hell thinks it's a good idea to leave town for 3 weeks and not tell their ex a) where they are going and b) how to get a hold of him. This is the 2nd (yes, 2nd) time in the last 6 months the idiot has done this. I mean really? News flash...you have a CHILD. I could give a shit where you are and what you are doing but for god's sake if something were to happen it would probably be in your best interest for me to be able to get a hold you. I have suspicions that he's out of the country visiting his 23 year old girlfriend that lives overseas. Why he feels the need to keep these things from me is beyond me. I told him 2 months I hope he finds happiness and gets remarried.

So this morning I received a FB email from her telling me it's over between them. Girlfriend, you are not the first and probably won't be the last poor sap that has contacted me because they got their heart broken by him and now you think he's crazy. Newsflash...I've known he's crazy for years. Why in the hell do these women feel the need to reach out to me? Do you think I'm going to give them a participation medal? Sorry, I already walked away with the winning trophy 4 years ago when the divorced was finalized.

And so it goes...

Might as well...

I can't resist starting this up again. The stories are too good for others not to be laughing with me (and maybe you'll laugh at me). I recently threw myself back into the "awesome"(you can't hear my sarcasm but it's there!) world of match.com. The story of how I ended back on there is probably better than any that have resulted in my 5 days back on that site. And don't worry, 'freak of the week' will be returning!

So how did I wind up back on there? This summer hasn't been the best in regards to my love life. Every guy I meet turns out to be either a) be married (and they don't bother to tell me) or b) going to meetings to 'make themselves better' (or in some cases both). WTH. I thought back in May I had finally met the perfect guy. Things were going great but he started acting strange. Not being the shy type, I asked him what the deal was. If he wasn't 'feeling it' I certainly didn't want to waste my time. I'm a big girl...I handle rejection with the best of them. He assured me he truly liked me a lot and wasn't expecting to find someone like me so soon after his divorce. He wanted to take things slow. Great. Well that translated into me seeing him, oh I don't know, ONCE over the summer. We stayed in pretty constant contact over texts (he's apparently afraid to actually dial numbers and hear a live voice on the other end). Finally about 4 weeks ago I emailed him and said something to effect of: "look, I don't know where you stand, but I have interest in you but feel like I'm being led on. You keep saying you want to see me then we never make actual plans. If you don't feel the same way, for gods sake, just tell me and I'll move on". He responded very quickly and told me: "I have a ton of interest in you. I think about you often and want to be together....however I am a broken person and attending meetings to make myself better. It's going to take time and if you can be patient great, if not, I understand". I responded and told him I understood and was willing to be patient. That was roughly 4 weeks ago. Aside from the sporadic texts I really haven't heard from him since then. Silence...until last Friday... so I'm back on match.com, minding my own business and guess who decides to 'wink' at me? Really? A wink on match.com. DB. I have to keep faith though in that there is someone even better out there.... NEXT.....

So somewhere along the line this summer I met this other guy. We had fun hanging out...seemed to have quite a few common interests. We had a lot of mutual acquaintances and friends (we kind of work in the same industry). And then the red flags started flying like bullets. It was quite obvious he wasn't even close to having his shit together amongst other things. I decided to lay off and that maybe it would be best with so many mutual friends and a business relationship that we just keep it at the friend level. And it's a damn good thing I did....I found out this weekend that, surprise, he's still married (not exactly the story he told me). Oh, and he's spending most of September taking a 3 week 'vacation' to 'talk to some people about a potential gambling issue". IE...he's in rehab....for the 2nd time.

I mean really? Can I not freaking catch a break?

No excuses...none!

It's been a while...way too long in fact! Part of the problem is, I haven't much to update in terms of great/funny dating stories. As a matter of fact, I can't even remember the last time I went on a date. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been a hermit. As a matter of fact, I've had some of my most fun nights out in the past couple of weeks. But, that said, I have finally (and I mean FINALLY) came to terms with embracing being single. My profile is officially coming off match.com on January 27 (that's when my subscription runs out). It's not to say I won't go back, but I need to take a break. I need to take some "me" time and not worry about those stupid boys. Yes, I still talk to a few. Wish I was dating a few. But, overall my life is so full right now, I frankly just don't have the time nor the energy to put into dating. I'm really focusing on 'me' for the next 2-3 months.

Speaking of which, I joined a weight loss competition at my new gym. About 2 months ago a friend convinced me to go with her to Title Boxing (for those not local, it's a pure boxing/kickboxing club...membership isn't cheap but holy crap is it worth it). I've gotten addicted and while I struggled in December with consistentcy due to a nagging cold/bronchitis, I've finally been able to find my groove. I've been going 4-5 times a week. It's hard. It's tough. It'll make you sweat out of every pore. Joe, the trainer I go like to go, says you probably burn around 700-800 calories per hour doing his class. I'll take it. Not only am I 'boxing' like mad, for the first time in my life I'm counting calories and really paying attention to everything I put in my mouth. It's eye opening! I refuse to go on some crazy 'diet' but I am trying to keep within a certain calorie range every day and with that, watching my intake of protein, fat and carbs. I'm amazed...given my goal 'weight', I need to stay under 1700 calories a day (pretty easy to do as long as I can stay away from the silver bullets...ie beer). But, now that I am counting, I've realized I was probably putting down 2500 calories a day before!!! I wasn't gaining weight, but I certainly haven't lost any in a long time.
That said, I'm ready to work towards a new goal. I am working towards a new goal and I'm quite pleased so far...except last week....I went out and drank like a fish (literally...I had 12 beers on Thursday night!!!) both Thurs and Sat. This week I'm going to try not to drink...although we all know that's kind of impossible so I'm trying to only drink one night this week and limit it (everything in moderation!). We'll see what happens!!!!

Wow!

Um wow! What a week it's been (maybe longer since I've updated, but the last week has been action packed to say the least). Suffice to say tonight is one of 2 nights I haven't been out and about in the last 8 days. I feel like I need to detox (and sleep!).

It's been interesting...no real crazy stories. Except for the guy that tried to convince me to make out with him in the bar parking lot while his girlfriend was inside...um really? But I'll admit, it was really REALLY tempting. He was hot (and so nice) and they are apparently on the verge of breaking up. I told him to call when he was single. He called me 2 hours later....just to make sure I got home ok. :)  I hope for my sake he's single soon. That was the night before New Year's Eve.

New Year's Eve was pretty fun. It started out being a few couples and a few single people going out. It turned into all couples, me, and another single guy who is turning out to be a huge douche bag. He had 2 different girls meet him where we were because he apparently couldn't decide which one he wanted to take advantage of that night. I made the most of my night and had a great time although it probably won't make a  top 5 Most Fun New Year"s list.  Two of my single friends ended up going as a couple (long story). We had a good time and the people watching was definitely entertaining.

The next morning my single girlfriend (who went the night before with my single guy friend) called to see if I wanted to go up to Tanners (local bar) to watch FB and get some grease. Since F-head was picking up Layla at noon I decided what the hell, I didnt have anything going on that afternoon. We went up there at noon, decided to order some bloody mary's. We then ventured to my Dad's house as he was having a little party. I couldn't say no to his margaritas. We then realized it was 5pm, both of us were slightly tipsy and didn't have plans so we ventured out....till 1:30am! I mean really....what were we thinking? It was pretty funny though. We went to about 6 different local bars trying to find a good 'scene'. Nothing. I guess we are the only morons that go out the night after New Years.

Needless to say I'm a little tired today. I feel like I've been on a 3 day college bender. Today was great though...I got to spend lots of quality time with Layla. She said some pretty hysterical things tonight as I was putting her to bed that I must share:

Conversation #1: "Mommy, when I get bigger and bigger, I'm going to play basketball with the big Jayhawk boys. And you're going to sit in the stands and be very proud. But I'll need a uniform...how about a swimsuit? That will be very nice". Um....ok!

Without taking a breath, she started this convo:
Conversation #2: "Mommy, are these your boobies. They are too big!?" "Yes Layla. But it's not nice to touch other peoples boobies". "Well Mommy, I don't have big boobies to touch. Mine are very little but some day, when I get bigger and bigger, I'll have some. Will you give me yours?"

I don't know where she comes up with this stuff but good lord is it entertaining.