I'm due for an update. Not much in the dating world, thank goodness. It's been pretty quiet which is a welcome change to be honest with you. I am tired of it. I have plenty of friends and 'stuff' to keep me busy for now. I realized when I was on a crappy date last weekend that I would much rather be out with my friends than stuck with some guy I can't stand to be around. Sorry to all of you that come here to read about my dating adventures...it might get boring for a while! I'll do my best to keep you entertained. And what better way to do it than with a good F-head story:
Amazing that even a year later the pieces to the puzzle are still coming together. I could never quite figure out how he had financed the 8 month relationship with a 20 year old. I do realize most 20 year old are cheap dates but he'd still need some cash right? Anyway, I remember him saying, "I can't be cheating. If I was, how would I be paying for dates?". I knew when he went on his big trip last Nov he came back with a huge amount of cash and it conveniently disappeared. Apparently that only last him until about mid-February. I was going through bank statements yesterday while doing my taxes and happened to be adding up $$$ spent on gas. I kept seeing these $30 charges at one particular gas station. After about 5 of these charges in a 2 week period I started looking closer. You can tell it was with his card and there are about 20 of these $30 charges. Maybe he's smarter than I give him credit (or maybe not). He knows I don't pay close attention to bank statements and after all, these were charges at a gas station, easily explained if I saw a few of them. But 20 within a 2 month period? Good lord. I just have to laugh at this point and give him points for creativity.
I have a few other things I need to say but probably shouldn't say outloud to anyone:
Dear Naked Locker Room Lady:
I appreciate your kindness. Really, I do. While I enjoy our banter, for the love of god can you please at least put on a bra. Your probably 82 yeard old and your girls just aren't pretty anymore. Even if they were, it's creepy to have someone stand there completely naked and talk to you (have you noticed that I am completely clothed at all times?). Maybe you should try striking up conversations with other naked, 80 year old ladies standing around after water aerobics. They look like a lot fun and seem to have a lot in common with you. I'd probably be best if our conversations occured outside of the locker room. I just can't do it and keep a straight face anymore lady.
Signed, Trying to nice but failing miserably.
Dear Precious Daughter of Mine:
You know how much I love you. You know I think you are the cutest child to ever grace this planet. But I need to lodge a little complaint. This new little sleeping game your playing really isn't funny. I mean do you really have to wait until the moment I start falling asleep and then start screaming "Mommy"? I try so hard just to ignore you like everyone tells me I should, but when you yell "Mommy" in that "I can't bare another minute apart from you" voice it makes ignoring you really, really hard. Also in regards to sleeping, what is up with the 5am wake up time lately? You have always been like me and managed to sleep in. I realize you think it's time to get up, but the rest of world (ie your mom) is still trying to sleep. If I am kind enough to bring you to my bed and turn on Mickey Mouse, please return the favor and let me sleep while you watch cartoons....it's only fair.
Signed, your loving (and very tired) mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment