Last Friday night (while in Santa Barbara) I met up with a friend, Lowel, to watch the Kansas game. After the game we wandered to some bar to play pool. Upon entering, we were greeted by 2 gals...seemingly normal at first. That was until they started talking. Apparently she thought Lowel was cute and proceeded to hit on him. All the while girl 1 kept telling Lowel and myself that he needed to hit on her because "she really liked him". I have to give him credit though...he could have been a total ass to her and wasn't. I learned several valuable lessons, such as, the top 3 things you don't tell a guy you are trying to "pick up" in bar:
1) "I spent several years in Narcotics Anonymous"
2) "Yeah...I just got out of an abusive lesbian relationship so my friend and I are out celebrating. I have never been out to bars before." (that could actually be 2 separate items)
3) "I also just lost over 100 lbs...another reason to celebrate!"
So....you wanna go home with me?
True f-ing story. Below is a picture. Girl 2 is on the left. You can't see it in the picture, but she has more glitter on her face than the dancers at Temptations.
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