Classic F-Head Moments: Part 4

As you know, it's rare I post about F-head and his latest 'classic moments'. These are too good to pass up.

So yesterday I had an out of town buyer to show. 25 houses. Sunday night I started feeling a little stomach ache. When I woke up yesterday it had gotten much worse. I powered through the showings with a fever and all. F-Head had L last night and I quickly realized picking her up would be a challenge. I text him to see if by chance he would agree to drop her off (he has never been to my house as it's "too hard for him"...get the f over it!). So approx 2 mins after sending the text I get a phone call. I can't understand him and all I can hear is L in the background screaming bloody murder. He tells me she's been that way since 4pm (it's now 6:15p) and I can tell he's frustrated. I tell him I'll come get her and ask where they are. He hangs up on me. I call him back and he gives me a pity story about not being able to get into the car because she keeps throwing a fit and then goes on to say I shouldn't come get her since I am sick. He finally tells me their at McDonald's and he's walking around the parking lot with her (in the rain mind you) and isn't sure what time he'll drop her off since he can't seem to be an adult and get her into the car. I finally just tell him I'm coming to get her. He goes off on me about how I think he's an incompetent father, etc etc etc. What the hell I am suppose to do when he does an SOS call because he can't figure out how to be a parent and deal with a 2 year old's temper-tantrum. On one hand I want to ignore it and let him deal with it, on the other I can't possibily let my child who is screaming "Mommy" walk around a parking lot in the rain. So I get in the car and go pick her up. Do you think I get a thank you? Nope. Instead he goes off on me again about how I make him feel like a bad parent. Um hello? You're the one who called me because you couldn't figure out how to be a parent.

While finalizing the divorce he asked for a bunch of our tools. Most of which my Dad had given him/us. I agreed to give him a few of them (most of them are old and hardy work although he doesn't know that because he's never tried to use them. He asked for them just to be a dick). He's never come by to pick them up so I sent him a text to tell him I am not a storage facility and he needs to get them by Friday otherwise they'll be given away or sold. This is great. He sends me a text back that "Jane" is coming to get them on Wednesday. Jane is a 50 year old woman that I doubt can lift the 100lb table saw into a car by herself. But because he can't seem to get over himself, he has to send her. What a great, stand up guy!

And I'll throw this in just because it's yet another classic moment from the other night. I was running late so my sister had to pick up L from F-Head. This is the first time since I filed that she's come face to face with him. She wasn't thrilled about it, but it had to be done. And given the opportunity, she's probably inflict some serious bodily harm on him...and he knows it. In fact, when I texted him to tell him my sister was coming, he tried every way but Sunday to avoid it. So she pulls up to the condo building. He usually comes out the front door, walks down the 40 foot sidewalk and puts L in the car. Instead, the mother trucker opens the front door, shoves L out the door and closes it. She doesn't recognize my sister's car at the end of the sidewalk so she starts crying and banging on the door to get back in. Can you freakin believe it? She's 2 years old you mother trucker! It makes me cry just thinking of her standing there all alone. He finally opens the door and decides he better walk her to the car. In the meantime, my sister had gotten out of the car to get her. Apparently, the entire time he was walking down the sidewalk he had his head turned backwards as to not make eye contact. What a f-ing wimp!