"Are you die-vorc-ed Miss Christian"

I've been discovered in the neighborhood! After Layla and I got home last night we were running 'races' in the front yard when I heard the screech of bike tires in my driveway. 2 little girls run over and about tackle Layla. They were sweet little girls who just wanted a 'baby' to play with. They kindly asked if they could take Layla in the backyard to play on the swing set. Of course I obliged. All the sudden I hear the 6 year old yell down the street, "Come on guys. We can play in this backyard". It was then and only then I realized just how many kids were on my street. Within 23 seconds I had about 16 kids in my backyard that ranged in age from 2-10. I was told I have the best backyard ever and the best trees to climb. Great! So you can fall out of the tree and break your arm in my yard. Wonderful.

It was then the 6 year old female Dennis the Menace started the game of 21 questions. It went something like this:

"Where were you tonight?"...I worked then I picked up Layla from her Dad.
"Oh. Does she go there a lot?"....Kind of.
"Does he have a swing set for her?"...um, not exactly.
"Well he should. She really likes to swing." Would you like to tell him next time he drops her off?
"What kind of car does he drive?"...a big black SUV.
"Oh yes...I've seen that one. It's really fancy."...yes. I know. What I wanted to say was it used to be mine but you see I traded it for my entire 401K in the divorce. Worked out pretty well.
"Does your husband have a mohawk"...um, no. Not that I'm aware of.
"Have you ever seen him?"...Unfortunately, yes.
"Miss Christian, are you die-vorc-edd?". Yes dear. I am.
"Who's that other guy that's here a lot in the white car?"...that would be my Dad.
"Are you going to marry him?". WTF?

Luckily that conversation ended but the next thing I knew she was over my deck with her face plastered to my windows. "Hey. Layla has a kitchen. And a tunnel. And a horse". Um...What are we doing here? Taking inventory?

Here's a story that proves the apple does not fall from the tree. Since Easter, Layla had woken up every morning and asked in the sweetest voice, "Is it Easter Bunny day today?". Every day I told her no. It took Cinco de Mayo to distract her. I picked her up at school that night and took her to our office party. On the way there I told her we were going to a 'party'. Apparently she had quite the large time. Instead of asking for the Easter Bunny she now asks everyday if we are going to party? At 2? I'm in trouble.