So... McScotty finally communicated with me yesterday. I found out more about what's going on with him and holy moly, he's dealing with a lot of 'shit' right now (again, sorry for the expletive, but it's the only word suitable to describe it). In short, he's dealing with more than I can even imagine (I have opted to edit out the details). Unbelievable. I can't even begin to process all of it and can't even imagine what he is going through. My heart breaks for him. Needless to say, I am glad to be the least of his concerns right now, but nonetheless I want to offer as much support as I can, I just don't know what to do.
I have no idea what the future holds for us. It's a little disheartening to think about it because things were going so freaking well. I can't imagine not having him in my life, but unfortunately, at this point that might just be the reality of it all. Selfishly, I miss him terribly and just want to see him. Before I met him, I was really quite okay with being 'alone'. Life was good and Layla and I were in a good little routine. Then all the sudden you get attached to someone and get to spend a lot of time with them...you just get used to having someone to talk to, to hang out, to share things with. Now the thought of being alone again kills me. Not that I don't have hope for us, I just know I have to patient right now. He certainly can't focus on us and I COMPLETELY understand that. We had so many plans to do things in the coming weeks and I seriously doubt that will happen now. It's a little sad.
Enough with pity party. Life could be much worse for me. I just need to find something else to focus on right now. Like work maybe?
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