Paybacks are HELL

My dear, dear sister. I owed her...she's done a ton to help me out with Layla over the past 2 years. I seriously owed her one so when she called in her favor I couldn't say no. She asked me to chaperone her high school's Courtwarming dance. I tried like hell to come up with a reason why I couldn't go but I finally caved realizing this was my payback. The dance was last night and I have to say, HOLY SHIT! (sorry for the expletive, but that's all I can say to describe the spectacle).

Like most high school dances, the scene of the event was in the gym. It was adorned with white christmas lights which just the right amount of glow that we, as chaperones, could see exactly what going on in center court. I really didn't think it would be too bad, just a few hours of watching kids make fools of themselves. And then the freshman starting arriving, as freshman do, on time. The floor was covered with balloons and as 14 year old boys will do, they ran around and start popping as many as they could. Little did I know, this would be the most endearing thing these 14 year olds did all night.

Then out of the corner of my eye I see a group of girls show up. I look down the court and couldn't believe what I saw...this one girl's 'dress' was less of a dress and more of black napkin draped across her body, complete with 5 inch black pumps that looked similar to those seen downtown at "Temptations: Totally Nude". And then, this said group started dancing. I repeat: "HOLY SHIT". For a second I thought I really was at Temptations. I found out later these girls were all freshman. Again, HOLY...
It was hard to peel my eyes off the spectacle, but I managed to walk away as I just couldn't stand looking at it any longer. On more than one occasion the thought crossed my mind, "and your parents let you leave the house like that". I would love to meet said parents and knock them upside the head.

So before the dance started, my lovely sister who was in charge, told us the rule was, "if you wouldn't dance that way in front of your mother it wasn't approriate". Easy enough rule I thought. So, what do you do when 400 teenagers are all dancing, err gyrating, on each other at once? Surely you can't stop them all so at some point you have to let your moral guard down and say 'to hell with it': as long as I can see (or sorta see) their hands they are fine. But you see, these little kids are tricky. They figured out pretty quick that if they just bunch up on the gym floor we surely couldn't see everything. So we started walking out into the crowd. It kind of gave me a complex. As soon as I would find a little hole to stand in, the little hole became a huge one...like I had some disease they would catch from proximity. It was actually rather funny and it became a game to entertain me...how long would it take for them to a) notice me and b)flee. I saw more teenagers underwear last night than I ever needed to in my lifetime. I mean for real girls, have some freaking pride in yourself.

Aside from the prostitute freshman, the other highlight of the night came when we found a girl using a chair as a prop right on center court to give lap dances. We shut that one down pretty quick but not quick enough. Needless to say I felt old...really old. I have to admit, at one point the thought crossed my mind, "I can't believe how kids dance these days!". It's officially: a)I am a mother and B)I am becoming MY mother.

I survived though. I am much more aware of what teenagers are really like than ever before. I have decided, Layla is going to be home schooled and will NEVER go to a high school dance in anything less than a nun's cloak. Wish me luck!